I had a vision for October — one lined with high hopes and an embarrassingly strong desire to live out the Halloween dreams I missed out on as a kid.
This was my first holiday season with a family of my own.
And since Halloween is the first big celebration of the season, I packed every weekend with activities and picture-perfect moments. I wanted to look back and say:
This was the start of our first family traditions.
But… that didn’t happen.
Or at least, it didn’t go as perfectly as I’d planned.
There were a lot of adjustments, pivots, and reasons to let go — and with everything happening in the world, it started to feel a little silly to chase something that kept slipping through my fingers.
When Everyone Else Seems to Be Thriving
I know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to what you see online.
But now that I’m pursuing digital work full-time, I see it differently.
I’m not looking into anyone’s personal life — I know the curated nature of it all — but I couldn’t help feeling a little jealous. It seemed like everyone else was living the Halloween dream, and I was barely scraping the pavement.
I kept wondering if I was missing something.
Why did it look so effortless for everyone else?
Why did it feel so impossible for me?
My creative drive started to drain.
Nothing I made felt right. I felt disconnected from my work and from what I was trying to build.
So… I stepped back.
Softening the Season
About halfway through the month, I decided to try something different.
I stopped forcing the version of October I thought I should be experiencing and listened to what I actually needed. And honestly, I think I just needed to pause and look at the life I already had. Not the life I was trying so hard to stage.
When I did that, I realized I was doing enough.
More than enough.
Even if it didn’t look like the autumn vision board I had in my head.
Low-Budget October Traditions
That Helped Me Feel Again**
I wanted traditions so badly… and it turned out they were forming all along — quietly, imperfectly, gently.
I’m not saying I’ll commit to these things every year, and you don’t have to either.
Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Or use this as inspiration to create your own.
Here’s what helped:
🍁 A Walk to See the Leaves Change
Just stepping outside to feel air + light again.
🎃 A Trip to the Pumpkin Patch
Imperfect attempts still count — the messiness made it real.
🌽 Corn Maze With Family
More chaotic than whimsical — but still a memory.
🍠 Sweet-Potato Pancakes at Home
Comfort food is grounding. Cheap, cozy, shared.
🎃 A Pumpkin Bouquet for Someone Who Needed Care
Using what we had — a reminder that care doesn’t require extravagance.
🚜 Family Hayride
The wind and hay in your hair only added to the moment.
🎉 Small-Town Fall Parade
Free, communal, nostalgic — a reminder that joy can be simple.
🔥 Candlelight Nights + A Good Book
A tiny ritual that signaled rest + presence.
Realizing I Was Doing More Than I Thought
Looking at it from this angle, I can see that the month wasn’t defined by what didn’t happen.
It was full of things I didn’t give myself credit for.
October brought personal challenges, yes — but it also brought direction.
I found myself leaning into a more intentional way of creating.
It started to feel less like copying and pasting ideas from other places, and more like building something from my own heart.
I’d been scared of turning my life into my brand — afraid I’d lose myself along the way.
But distancing myself too much made my work feel empty.
It was nice to have a formula… until it stopped feeling organic.
Somewhere in all of this, I found a direction that felt more human, and aligned with what made me feel more connected.
A Final Thought
Not every holiday needs to be magical.
Not every October needs to be cinematic.
A “perfect” Halloween doesn’t need a pumpkin.
If anything, this month taught me that:
If I want to feel something —
I have to let go of my expectations
and allow things to unfold as they’re meant to.
Doing whatever feels right, even if it’s small or simple, is sometimes the truest way back to ourselves.
And maybe that’s what matters most.
light & gather 
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